Andrew Saunders (0:0.272)
⁓ This is gonna be one of those where I miss the intro. Yep. Yep. It's that ⁓ No, come on really Hey look I did it
Nate Klein (0:12.045)
We it.
Andrew Saunders (0:18.828)
Welcome back everyone episode 95 as we edge up on 100 here ⁓ today. We have special guest Cory Allen ⁓ his claim to fame is that he is currently an author the second time this time a children's book ⁓ and He protected Michelle Obama in the Secret Service. So that's quite amazing and Yeah, kind of a big deal just a little bit ⁓ and then ⁓
Nate Klein (0:42.104)
Kind of a big deal.
Nate Klein (0:46.188)
and enjoy.
Andrew Saunders (0:47.150)
I forget what the last one was. was, it was a awesome dad. No dad, ⁓ dadrific. What was ⁓ the intro screwed up my intro. ⁓ Yeah. Doning dad. There we go. ⁓ anyway, so we are going to talk about his children's book, which is, ⁓ about anxiety and traveling and leaving your kids and what's that like? ⁓ and that's going to be our topic for today. But before we get started and we dig into this, we have to do the sick check.
Cory Allen (0:54.178)
Doting dad.
Nate Klein (0:55.628)
Doting. Doting mad.
Andrew Saunders (1:16.932)
So Corey, you wanna do a short intro, tell us how many kids you have and then tell us, are they healthy or do you get to ruin the zero week streak we are currently on? ⁓
Cory Allen (1:28.470)
I am ⁓ proud to announce our daycare child, no running nose, no snot. Like we are good to go today. I don't know why, but we're good. And he is about 21 months and we're a little less than three months out from our daughter arriving. So, but no, no sickness here.
Andrew Saunders (1:34.978)
All right, good for you. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (1:44.482)
Nice. All right. Nate, how are you guys doing?
Nate Klein (1:49.096)
We've still got sniffles that we're attributing to allergies. And if you're anywhere near the Midwest, we had this fake spring coming up. ⁓ we're hoping to stay healthy for a little bit longer as winter bears back upon us. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (1:56.720)
No.
Andrew Saunders (2:2.030)
Yeah, yeah. As we record this, there's a winter storm warning for Nate and I, and it's about to destroy us. So we might not be able to leave our homes. Luckily, I think we're both inside. ⁓ We are healthy ⁓ for now. My mother-in-law just arrived, so maybe she's bringing some crazy disease with her ⁓ from the West Coast. We're not sure. But they generally stay healthy for like a week. She leaves, and then everybody gets sick. I don't know why. It's just incubation period.
Nate Klein (2:7.096)
No. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (2:32.108)
exhaustion, who knows. ⁓ Anyway, so on that note, ⁓ I do love my mother-in-law. I don't want anybody to think I don't like my mother-in-law. She's an amazing woman and I'm really glad she's coming. And I actually had to clean this podcast studio so she could sleep in here tonight. ⁓ know, there's, ⁓ Corey, ⁓ us the quick, you know, elevator pitch for this book and then let's get into ⁓ anxiety around traveling for dads.
Nate Klein (2:39.416)
⁓ yeah, noted, in this live podcast.
Cory Allen (3:2.114)
Yeah, great intro. And Nate and Andrew, thank you so much for doing what you do to help get our stories out there as dads, because not enough of us share our stories and those vulnerable moments of like, we also cry and we also like don't want to leave our families to travel. you know, so it's really important the work that you're doing. So I appreciate it. ⁓ So the book. Of course, that takes a trip that actually ⁓ came out yesterday. ⁓ So really excited about it. ⁓ And it actually, yeah, thanks to you all.
Andrew Saunders (3:21.146)
Thanks for coming. ⁓
Nate Klein (3:28.024)
Look at the timing.
Cory Allen (3:31.750)
⁓ came about, so ⁓ take credit. ⁓ but it came about, ⁓ it is, and it's actually number one new release, ⁓ currently, but, ⁓ so it came about out of actual need. So I had to take a trip from San Francisco to DC for work. ⁓ so the night before I was putting our son to bed, we read to him every night. ⁓ and so I just.
Andrew Saunders (3:33.092)
It's not like I planned that with Sarah or anything. ⁓ Yeah.
Nate Klein (3:35.277)
Yeah.
Nate Klein (3:40.086)
on Amazon right now.
Nate Klein (3:44.514)
ice.
Andrew Saunders (3:45.744)
Look at that.
Cory Allen (3:59.296)
Was longing for a way to like explain to my son that I had to leave the next morning. I wasn't going to be there when he woke up and I wasn't going to be gone for a week ⁓ to explain that to him. And ⁓ I just didn't have anything. We have like dozens of books in the bedroom, but none of them really helped explain with that. So I actually on the flight the next morning, I wrote it ⁓ just kind of leaning into like, I was sad to leave and talking about, you know, it's okay to cry. Dot. will wipe your teary eye. There's some rhyming involved actually on every page, but
Um, it sat with me for a few months and then like I did with my first book, I was like, you know what, maybe somebody else can use this book. Maybe let me see if I can create it. And I found Mariana, my illustrator. did amazing work. Um, and we were off to the races to get this thing done and delivered. And yeah, it's exciting to see where this may go and how many people may be able to use it. Police officers, military, any of us.
Nate Klein (4:44.012)
Great. I love that.
Cory Allen (4:57.324)
dads who have to travel for work or moms. ⁓ So we'll see where it goes.
Nate Klein (4:59.702)
Yeah. That's awesome. I love that process.
Andrew Saunders (5:1.968)
⁓ So I don't know if you're aware, but Nate has actually written two children's books with his daughters. ⁓ Same story, right? So.
Cory Allen (5:11.682)
It's ⁓ amazing to do it and like legacy plays into it for me as well. I'm in my 40s, right? I'm not a young dad. And so I worry about, did I do enough? So our kids know how much they were loved. And it's also something tangible because they're so young. He may not remember if I die tomorrow, get hit by a truck, whatever. ⁓ So anyways, Nate, congratulations. That's ⁓ such rewarding.
Nate Klein (5:34.168)
It is such, we focused ours on adoption and both the girls' stories of adoption, how they came into the family. just like you, this thing that kind of sits in your head and you want to put it out on paper and then you find great people to collaborate with. how did you, for those that are, ⁓ I've heard a lot of people talking about wanting to leave digital breadcrumbs and ⁓ things for their families as they go. How did you take it from your head on a flight to say, a few months later, let's write this thing? ⁓
⁓ with family, with friends, ⁓ what did that look like for you?
Cory Allen (6:8.782)
⁓ Mostly myself. ⁓ Honestly. ⁓
Nate Klein (6:12.064)
Yeah, ⁓ that's, that's all right. Many of us are like, Hey, I'm an external process. And some just go like, I need to do this in my space.
Andrew Saunders (6:14.128)
You
Cory Allen (6:18.897)
And yeah, and that's, you know, I do a lot of writing and I have now for a while. It's usually cathartic for me. And I just kind of went with it and it just resonated and it rhymed. And then I started like putting out feelers to friends and family like, Hey, look, this is what I'm thinking. And the reactions were just amazing. And they continue to be that way. We're seeing great feedback. So was a lot of my processes. And of course my, my illustrator did, did way, way better than I ever thought possible. So.
Andrew Saunders (6:36.272)
Thanks.
Nate Klein (6:45.997)
Yeah.
Cory Allen (6:47.822)
I don't know, maybe that wasn't the story you're looking for, but.
Andrew Saunders (6:48.528)
⁓ Isn't it amazing how the artsy people always surprise us? For those of us who can't draw or paint or anything, and then you're like, wow, yeah, you hit what I was thinking. I didn't know that's what I was thinking, but you got there somehow. Yeah, right. ⁓
Nate Klein (6:49.868)
Well, I think everyone comes differently.
Nate Klein (6:55.692)
Yes.
Cory Allen (7:4.589)
Yeah.
Nate Klein (7:4.800)
name. How did you get connected with your illustrator to bring story to life?
Cory Allen (7:11.604)
I asked chat GPT name the top children's book illustrators and it pumped out a list of 10 and Mariana was top of the list. And I pulled her out. was like, I love it. Something about just her artistry hit. And so I found her website. I shot her a cold email. She responded back. She actually lives in Portugal. ⁓ and I put out an official query. I think I got like 30 people who wanted to work on the project and I had to sort through all their work. ⁓ but Mariana just.
it just stuck from the start. And so that's how I found her.
Nate Klein (7:43.640)
That's really cool.
Andrew Saunders (7:45.232)
Look at that, chat GPT to the rescue again. It's getting, it's getting dangerous out there, isn't it? ⁓
Nate Klein (7:47.202)
Yeah. ⁓
Cory Allen (7:47.852)
Yeah. ⁓
Nate Klein (7:50.818)
My daughter and I thought it would be really cool to, we went on Fiverr and so we went to out to the world of creatives and, then we went to chat GPT and we started to think about, okay, what if we wrote and illustrated the own book? And then we just, we just did it all self-contained. And then when lions started to come back with like five legs ⁓ and two heads and different things going on, we're just like, you know, sometimes you have to be an artist. You use AI and we learned that very quickly. And so why not engage?
Andrew Saunders (8:15.412)
haha
Nate Klein (8:20.502)
those in the creative community to bring stories to life. I think that's a really, it's both telling the story and then allowing people to help tell the story for you, which is, think, a really powerful thing.
Cory Allen (8:29.230)
Yeah, and protecting our space as writers, as creators, like we need to employ each other, not AI. AI is a powerful tool, but it's not like replace, you know.
Nate Klein (8:34.518)
Yep. Yes. Yeah. The human touch. Yeah, we go ahead.
Andrew Saunders (8:35.152)
⁓ Right
Andrew Saunders (8:39.610)
Yeah, exactly. All right, so, sorry. ⁓ So the book is about taking a trip. were obviously, you said from ⁓ San Francisco to Washington, right? I mean, I know from my own experience, just taking a three hour road trip, like the first six hours, you're like, ⁓ I can breathe, I get a break. And then there's this moment when you're like, ⁓ man, I'm not getting the hug.
her right like I mean, I had two little girls the last time I took a major road trip and I was like, man, I don't get any snuggles tonight. I'm just gonna sit in this restaurant. And no one's gonna talk to me, which is gonna be nice. But like, but on the other hand, no one's gonna be like, Dad, can you do this and make me feel awesome? Right? So what what was it for you in that moment that kind of triggered the the anxiety piece or the right because
and you were obviously safe on a plane. Like where did the anxiety for you come from ⁓ outside of, know, your job probably isn't the safest ⁓ compared to the IT guy who was driving across the country to, you know, check on a server. ⁓
Cory Allen (9:44.430)
still inherent dangers in that, mind you. But there was some guilt in there as well. Like I've traveled extensively for work and before I met my husband and we got married and had a family, like I traveled the world for about 10 years. And so I have that, but now I still have to travel away every now and I to travel next week actually. A little bit of guilt that I'm leaving and I'm not here to help, but also as you said,
Andrew Saunders (9:45.968)
It did though, yeah.
Cory Allen (10:12.386)
You know, you can be having the worst day, toddler transoms constantly, but the moment they just walk up and give you an unsolicited hug, you're like, ⁓ this is amazing. This is worth it. ⁓ not that it's ever not worth it, but, so there's some guilt in there and. ⁓ Back to that vulnerability piece. Like we all, every, every parent deals with these emotions, at least you should, ⁓ of missing your family and like being away from them sucks and having to FaceTime your family from.
Nate Klein (10:20.332)
Yes.
Andrew Saunders (10:20.881)
Yeah.
Cory Allen (10:40.234)
across the country and it's just not the same. It doesn't hit on top of like leaving your spouse with the family. Yeah, and it's not as easy as it was when I was younger. And now like when I get to a hotel, I don't leave the hotel. I'm in my room. I watch Golden Girls like till I fall asleep. I order Uber Eats to the room. I don't leave that hotel. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (10:46.715)
Great.
Nate Klein (10:46.946)
responsibilities. Yeah.
Andrew Saunders (10:59.345)
You
⁓ It's safe and cozy. ⁓
Nate Klein (11:6.870)
actually got a trip coming up on Monday morning and so Sunday night will be my tuck-in. Unfortunately Amazon's not gonna get your book to me in time but for the next trip for sure and I think some of the things I think about really align with what you're talking about that that FaceTime call hoping they'll answer that my wife trying to wrangle four kids is not like pulling her hair out and is willing in that moment ⁓ so that I can have just some time to talk with the family too and I think that's
some of that anxiety that I have is not just being there for the kids, but also for my spouse of their saying yes ⁓ to me going to do this thing. ⁓ And I think that's part of it too. how do you balance saying yes to work and things, ⁓ knowing that saying yes means saying no? ⁓ And how do you balance that? What does that look like for those dads that are out there traveling?
Cory Allen (11:57.728)
It's every evolving, ⁓ constantly trying to, to pivot. then, you know, I'm in a position where I'm able to control my travel. And I visit, you know, I managed multiple different offices across ⁓ the Western U S. but I can plan those trips myself. So I have to confer with my spouse. I'm like, Hey, what works for you? Are you working? You know, he's a physician, you're in the hospital these days, like, I need to be there for your call? Whatever. So open communication, ⁓ make sure we're on the same page. We've got to be, ⁓
But also it's a little bit easier for me because I can control like, okay, I'm only going to do an overnight to LA or Phoenix or wherever and get back as soon as possible. ⁓ Cause the days of like wanting to be gone and exploring, you know, a town in Italy or whatever, like those days are long gone. Like I used to do that. I don't do that anymore. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (12:45.168)
⁓ The dream is still there, but the reality is gone. ⁓ Right? Yeah. You now live on the Travel Channel and that's your adventure. ⁓
Cory Allen (12:49.741)
Yeah.
Cory Allen (12:53.614)
I don't want it, no I don't want to talk about it. I've done it, I live that life.
Nate Klein (12:56.256)
See you. We'll filter it. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (12:56.560)
You're over it? I see. No, I still live on the travel channel. it's, look, that'd be nice to go visit that Scottish castle. Yeah. ⁓ but now I got to book four airplane tickets. ⁓ Nope, not going to the Scottish castle. ⁓ Where's that Powerball ticket? ⁓ So. ⁓
Nate Klein (13:3.928)
You
Cory Allen (13:4.813)
⁓ I would do that.
Nate Klein (13:13.368)
Well, I think what's interesting too is when you put yourself out there to the world to ⁓ write a book or to do something, you're also putting yourself out there to be judged for the clicks and the stars and the things like that. And ⁓ I don't know about you, but when ⁓ my first book went out with the girls, I was ⁓ wanting so much for people to buy it, for them to say back at school, like, hey, this is something that was bought. And I was checking it all the time.
Are you the type of person that's going out there to check to kind of see where it's at? Or do you just kind of, you've done the work, ⁓ the world will take it as it is. ⁓ Kind of where do you fall on that spectrum as people out there, creators, are also like checking to see if people are engaging with what you're producing.
Cory Allen (13:58.510)
⁓ I do like I'm on socials like I've got to be especially like right now is the book launch and all that stuff So I am actively engaged but then there's so much ⁓ Instability out there online in people who are walking around all around us ⁓ That get triggered by and just the stuff people say it so you quickly learn. Okay block delete I'm not responding to that nonsense tune all that jazz out and then you quickly find okay like my first book
This was where it's ranking. Here we are two and a half, almost three years later. Like ⁓ the rankings on Amazon are good reads, whatever. Like, okay, they're solid. So that means I did, I did okay. I didn't lose a bunch of followers. ⁓ cause it's as a writer, as you know, it's hard to, to find your audience. And when you do find them, those are your people because you connect with them and they're going to stick with you through. ⁓ so I do check it and I've liked this Amazon rank. I saw, as I mentioned earlier, like it is number one new release right now. ⁓
That's which is amazing, right? ⁓ So I'm like, ⁓ okay, yeah, so I won't be checking as much because I don't really need to, but also I have to be present for my family. Like I can't be on my phone while I'm on the floor with our son. So it's, ⁓ I'm in the middle ground, if you will.
Nate Klein (14:56.504)
Yeah, that's the cool thing to be able to say that is a really cool thing too and to talk to your kids about that in the future.
Nate Klein (15:16.418)
Yeah. Really cool.
Andrew Saunders (15:18.939)
I always get the anxiety. Like every time we do one of these episodes, like I have been checking the, so we recorded an episode on Tuesday and it released on Wednesday. ⁓ we have had an issue where we weren't getting a ton of ⁓ interactions. And I think I know why, ⁓ but we fixed it. And I've been like every couple hours, I'm like, where's it at? Like, it doing what I expect it to? Is it growing the way I want it to? Like.
So we're back to normal. I'm happy to report, I have that weird anxiety piece where I have to know what's going on until it hits the normalcy moment. And it's the same thing. I I talked about it a little bit, Cory, before the show, but I think it was really dramatic with the expectation of the recent birth. It still sticks in my head that I spent.
Cory Allen (15:59.758)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Saunders (16:14.449)
48 hours building that thing up in my head. And so when the moment actually came, right, it was like, okay, I can just break down now. I'll be over here for a minute, right? ⁓ That plays out in weird ways in our lives over and over and over again. And you don't even realize it, right? Like a weird one. The other day I was driving and ⁓ I think someone texted me a photo of my daughter and she had just climbed to the top of like
the rope merry-go-round climb tower thing, right? Like I don't even know what it's called. It's a giant cone ⁓ that's basically like climbing nets, but it's also merry-go-round. Like it's the world's most dangerous toy, right? My four year old's at the top of it. Like I'm on top of the world and she's spinning. And I'm like, ⁓ I'm not there to see it cause I'm at work. And she just climbed to the top of the Like I'm going, why am I losing it? Like this was gonna happen. I knew I was gonna miss stuff. ⁓
Nate Klein (16:51.542)
Yes.
Andrew Saunders (17:11.889)
But it hits you weird, right? And it hits you when you're not thinking about it. Yeah. ⁓ god.
Cory Allen (17:16.290)
Yeah, like first day of daycare drop off. Like, ⁓ my God, ⁓ I was a sobbing ⁓ mess. Well, we've cut both our son and I was, I didn't make it to the car and I was a ⁓ mess because ⁓ of the moment that it was of letting go of ⁓ that control that we had had for a year. And now we're handing our most precious thing in the world over to somebody else. And man, ⁓ it hit hard.
Andrew Saunders (17:23.867)
Dude. ⁓
Nate Klein (17:25.388)
Yes.
Andrew Saunders (17:42.290)
⁓ You know what killed me was when I dropped my three year old after preschool the very first day and she wasn't afraid to go in and she didn't look back. She was like, okay dad. And she just bolted into the room to go have fun. And the teacher was like, do you want to give dad a hug? ⁓ yeah, I should probably do that. And she turned around and I got like the quickest hug. And then she, and I was like, okay.
Nate Klein (17:51.446)
Yes. Yeah.
Cory Allen (17:51.630)
⁓
Andrew Saunders (18:5.079)
She's not gonna be afraid of preschool. Yeah, it was like man. I didn't get the clingy kid. didn't get the angry kid. didn't get the daddy. Don't leave. I'm scared. I got the piece. I'm out
Cory Allen (18:5.314)
The emotional letdown of that.
Nate Klein (18:5.336)
Yeah. Yeah.
Nate Klein (18:15.020)
Yeah, we had that a couple of years ago. Our girls, ⁓ nine and 10 now, but at the time were ⁓ seven and eight. ⁓ And we took them to their first overnight camp and we didn't mess around. Like we didn't do the one or two night overnight. This was a seven night overnight camp with zero communication. And it's something I did as a kid, Camp Wapsi here locally. And I went into it thinking like, Hey, I'm going to drop my, like, we're going to have this extended thing. I'm going to have to make some connections because I didn't know anyone else coming. And they were in separate teepees.
Andrew Saunders (18:30.125)
⁓ man.
Andrew Saunders (18:35.740)
yeah.
Nate Klein (18:44.888)
And I get there and they're like, we make the bed and they're like, all right, dad, see you later. And I'm like, is that like, is that it? Do I need to stay for like a parents like bonding release thing? I don't know like what's going on. And they were gone. And I was like, I guess this is my moment. And we didn't hear from them. Like I was all expecting, I was on my email waiting and I was like, okay, Lillian's gonna have something, Ellery's no. And we get there to their.
Cory Allen (19:6.030)
That's wild.
Nate Klein (19:12.574)
Saturday performance and they're just happy as a clam with all their new buds and and that's what's awesome about kids like we can be anxious as the dads and the kids are super resilient and we did just as Mel Robbins would say like let them like let them do their thing and I think that's ⁓ More on us than it is on them, right?
Andrew Saunders (19:30.929)
Right, right. Don't put your fears into your kid. You're gonna, but don't. ⁓ Right, Yeah, ⁓ yeah, right. I don't know.
Nate Klein (19:32.428)
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It is not. I'm going to carry that myself. So, Corey, you've written adult book now ⁓ for consumption and now children's book. Which process was more difficult? Yes.
Cory Allen (19:36.268)
Yeah, that's not their problem.
Cory Allen (19:49.240)
Well, it's not a porno. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (19:50.290)
⁓ It's a memoir. Yeah, it's his personal memoir, not an adult book. I feel like you got to get the language there. Like, ⁓ whoa.
Nate Klein (19:55.244)
Sorry, let ⁓ me rephrase that for those of you listening in. This is a book for adults that is a memoir, and this is a children's book in the section for Amazon, not adult section. Thank you for that clarification. But they're two very different approaches to writing, right? Which one was more difficult for you and which one brought you more joy?
Cory Allen (20:17.398)
First one way more difficult because the memoir it took ⁓ I don't know 60 hours or so to write. ⁓ wrote this one on my phone on a six hour flight ⁓ and I didn't have to hire a professional editor. ⁓ Now.
Nate Klein (20:20.087)
Yeah.
Nate Klein (20:26.796)
Yes.
Andrew Saunders (20:28.507)
Did you use speech to text? Like were you just sitting there like this is the, you actually ⁓ thumbed it out? ⁓ All right.
Cory Allen (20:35.822)
So the first one was way more arduous without question the editing process was was hard the matter was pulling out like Stuff like me a trauma that I had legitimately glossed over. didn't realize it. So I he was like a therapist J blotcher for the plug But so that was way way harder for me to do this one writing. It was rhyming it. I know. It just flowed out quickly and easily So this was way way easier and way more upbeat. Are you kidding me? Like look at this thing
Nate Klein (20:45.495)
Yeah.
Nate Klein (20:59.084)
That's really cool.
Nate Klein (21:4.428)
Yeah, for sure.
Cory Allen (21:5.486)
⁓ But the fear ⁓ of releasing a memoir, man, I was terrified. Because that's like, it's my personal life. ⁓ And talking about my ⁓ past relationships and domestic violence growing up and, you know, less than ideal childhood, whatever, that was terrifying. Whereas this is all excitement, finally.
Andrew Saunders (21:6.950)
BORI
Nate Klein (21:10.572)
Really? It's you.
Andrew Saunders (21:26.481)
⁓ It's really interesting because ⁓ what I kind of just got from that was your first book really helped you get through some of your emotional stuff. And the reason this one came so easily is because you'd kind of done that and you were ready to just let it all out. And then when you had the moment and realized you're like, I know how to do this. ⁓ right. It just effectively shot out the way you say, right. And six hour plane ride, three hour plane. How what is California to
Cory Allen (21:49.122)
Yeah.
Cory Allen (21:54.648)
Mobile 6, depending on the tailwinds.
Andrew Saunders (21:55.824)
Six now, all right. They haven't increased that speed yet? Man. ⁓ Yeah.
Cory Allen (22:0.398)
Yeah, if you've got good tailwinds, you will, but...
Nate Klein (22:2.316)
Yeah. So when you put this out to the world, ⁓ a children's book like this very recently, do you, ⁓ you come on a podcast, you put it on socials, do you do live events? Do you do readings? ⁓ Do you hope in the future to have your kiddos kind of along? Like what's, what's your thought on what this looks like for you as it has kind of come to you?
Cory Allen (22:22.828)
It's in process. ⁓ So absolutely doing collabs, doing ⁓ my marketing guru is working with Ingram to do like the book. ⁓ This is going to sound terrible. I forget the name of it. ⁓ Book, book list, whatever it's called. Excuse me. It's 6 PM here. ⁓ So yeah, she's working with those people so we can get on and do live book readings and, ⁓ you know, the parents magazine, there's an article coming out in about a week they interviewed. So yeah, we're doing.
Andrew Saunders (22:34.897)
Don't let the secret sauce out. ⁓
Cory Allen (22:51.360)
as much as we can to do live readings. And I have to, ⁓ and I'll ask you guys, how do you handle it with socials with your kids? Cause they don't, ⁓ Kai is so young, he doesn't get consent. And I am a little bit worried about other predators, let's call it what it is on the internet. ⁓ So I'm trying to find that balance of protecting his ⁓ online footprint and all that. So I'll kick that back to you.
Andrew Saunders (23:12.337)
So I've actually been very strict about this. So I will not let the schools post my children ⁓ on social media. I don't let the dance company post them on social media. I haven't signed any releases for the newspaper when they're like at the library to post them anywhere. ⁓ We actually have a private Facebook group that ⁓ I claim deity godlike ability to ban from and
That's where any photos for socials go. Now, I have to caveat that with my daughters have been in this podcast. So if you go back to the YouTube video, ⁓ they, as infants, you will have seen them in ⁓ moments like I'll have been holding them or they'll come in to give me a hug or things, but ⁓ they are not on Facebook. actually ⁓ sometimes aunts and uncles and grandmas get very frustrated that I'm like, no, you cannot post that photo on your social media page if my kid isn't. ⁓
Nate Klein (23:48.728)
Thanks. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (24:10.322)
But I went crazy because I understand the risk from a very technical IT digital perspective. And I need to guarantee that control until I just can't, right? Until they're so autonomous out in the world at 9, 10, 11 that I don't have control over the photos anymore, right? But while I can, I'm going.
Nate Klein (24:38.200)
⁓ I went completely opposite. ⁓ So when my wife and I were going through our infertility, we were pretty private and then we became pretty public about sharing our story. ⁓ And we just felt like not only was our family and friends, because I married into a family where her ⁓ mom was one of 14, her dad was one of 11. So there's just a natural huge family to try to connect and update with. And it got really tiring to try to update everyone what's going on.
Andrew Saunders (24:41.170)
Heh.
Nate Klein (25:6.444)
And it became this celebration when we got a call about Lillian joining the family. so right from the get, we're like, hey, let's share with the world, like the struggles and the joys of this. ⁓ Lillian with her birth parents and her birth grandma has her own like Facebook page that they'll be, she'll be able to hand over, have access and communicate if she wants to in the future. ⁓ But we, ⁓ we try to share the joy of the fun and franticness. And then with the book, when we launched the book, it was.
Part of that, ⁓ I think, excitement for the girls was being able to read in front of people at a book launch and then talk about it at book fairs. And the local public library, small town public library just asked if we could come do a reading. so those types of things ⁓ were exciting for the girls. And if they weren't, I think if they weren't exciting for the girls, I'd probably hold back a little bit more. ⁓ But them being able to show themselves and share their story has been a real joy. Now, my wife is
Cory Allen (25:58.732)
Mm-hmm.
Nate Klein (26:6.006)
very much a consumer of that and making sure we stay up to date and making sure I'm doing the right things. But yeah, we've gone the opposite of Andrew. And I'm sure at some point in time, my kids are going to have a conversation like, why did you put that out there? like, because ⁓ your graduation party is coming up and I wanted to have access to just show that to the world as well. But yeah, yeah, yeah. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (26:23.602)
⁓ I want to be able to go to AI and say, grab all those photos and make an embarrassing 18-year-old birthday reel. Yeah. ⁓
Cory Allen (26:25.582)
Well.
Cory Allen (26:34.178)
Good to know and ⁓ interesting how we find our like footing and we'll see.
Nate Klein (26:34.232)
So yeah, it's.
Nate Klein (26:38.477)
Yeah.
Andrew Saunders (26:40.080)
I mean, ⁓ you're 21 months in, right? But how have you gone with the baby on social media, the toddler on social media?
Cory Allen (26:47.598)
I've pulled back. ⁓ So you'll see some because like, mean, even on the first page of the book, it says to Kai love Dada, like his name is out there, everybody knows it. ⁓ But I'm not posting ⁓ as much as I used. was every month I was like, happy 18 months, happy 19 months. I stopped doing that because Kai is not consenting to that. And so I pulled back a bit. ⁓ But through the book launch, just because of like what this book is, it's it's hard not to
Nate Klein (26:56.066)
Yeah. ⁓
Nate Klein (27:16.343)
Yeah.
Cory Allen (27:17.486)
to show some and I did a, there's a real one instead that has over a hundred thousand views. I just posted it recently. I don't know why it has it, but Kai is in it with me. Cause I was talking about like, does your toddler behave better when it's one parent versus two? And it was a chill evening. My husband was at work and Kai is just cool as a cucumber. And I was like, wow, like otherwise you're a terrorist when there's two of us. For some reason that is getting a lot of.
Andrew Saunders (27:41.772)
Isn't that true? That's true. Yeah. ⁓
Nate Klein (27:43.010)
Yes, that's the next podcast topic on like how does that come out in real life, which is
Andrew Saunders (27:47.891)
Right? I actually, so I, I use this tagline with my wife and she, she really hates it, but every time I get ahold of the kids, they're kind of calm and relaxed and right. And she'll interact with them and they're just kind of like, they're, they're reacting or they're being emotional. And so every time I'm like, I don't know, dads are magic, right? So, mean, Corey, you got a lucky household then you got double the magic going on there. Like that's man.
Cory Allen (28:12.866)
Yeah. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (28:16.272)
I wish I could get some more of that. That'd be great. Call them household all the time. It doesn't. All right. All right. Only one of you's magic is that. ⁓ Yeah. Okay. ⁓ It's you. Yeah. All right. Fair enough. We won't, we won't tell, ⁓ but, ⁓ it is really interesting how children ⁓ have that emotional response differently for each parent. Right. ⁓ And, ⁓ and I've actually like my wife and I talk about it. I'm like, ⁓ you know, they're responding to your emotions. They're not responding to your.
Cory Allen (28:16.664)
But that doesn't stop the tantrums. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (28:46.128)
Like ⁓ you are getting upset. They see that and they get upset, right? It doesn't necessarily matter how mad you are. If you come at them with a calm and soothing voice, they'll be calm and soothed. You could be furious on the inside, right? ⁓ And the scene that always comes back to me ⁓ is Tom Selleck in Two Men and a Baby when he's reading the fight out of the like boxing magazine to this little infant.
Cory Allen (29:3.086)
Mm-hmm.
Andrew Saunders (29:15.590)
And he looks up to his room and he goes, she doesn't know what the words mean. So as long as I say it in a soothing voice, it's OK. Mike Frasier hit Joe. Right? It's like he's talking about a gruesome boxing beating in this like very calm, soothing voice to an infant girl. just ⁓ it's a great scene. And it really illustrates that point, right? ⁓ In a way that is very tangible, if that makes sense.
Nate Klein (29:19.028)
What?
Cory Allen (29:42.414)
I'm gonna have to re-watch that movie now, thank you. ⁓ It's been a minute.
Nate Klein (29:44.042)
Yes, just the same thing.
Andrew Saunders (29:44.467)
⁓ Go back and you haven't seen it since you had kids, right? Yeah, so go back, put the toddler bed, ⁓ load it up on Netflix and ⁓ you will die laughing because the whole like baby diaper bottle montage that occurs ⁓ like 30 minutes in, you're like every one of those, that has happened to me every, like when I was younger, it was just funny. And now I'm like, nope, that's real. ⁓
Cory Allen (29:49.340)
no no no no definitely not.
Andrew Saunders (30:11.539)
⁓ They all, like they were just having fun going, we're doing stuff that occurred to us, right? So, ⁓ yeah.
Nate Klein (30:19.490)
Cory, I've got one question that I've been thinking about this whole time because I've talked about this with my daughters and their books as well. So Dada takes a trip, gets picked up by a celebrity and they endorse it. Who ⁓ is that person you're like, this ⁓ would be epic ⁓ if that person ⁓ got ahold of this book, checked it out and then said, hey, world, you should look at this book.
Andrew Saunders (30:45.499)
I mean, I feel like he has a cheat code here and that's not really a fair question. Like it's probably already been endorsed by someone very, very famous around the world. I'm just, yeah. ⁓
Nate Klein (30:47.860)
I know. ⁓ I know. But I'm just saying.
Cory Allen (30:52.974)
⁓
Nate Klein (30:53.752)
⁓ Another person.
Cory Allen (30:56.930)
So we're waiting to hear back from ⁓ the IMO podcast with Michelle ⁓ Obama. so naturally, ⁓ would hope, and we're hoping to hear back that it would be something that they would be interested in. But Pete Budzicich. ⁓
Andrew Saunders (31:12.167)
You know, we wouldn't be afraid of you saying, know, hey, I did this on the dad verb podcast when you go there too. You know, that, that'd ⁓ nuts. ⁓
Nate Klein (31:18.018)
Yeah.
Cory Allen (31:20.002)
We are one community, we've got to help each other out. I got you. No, we'll see if that happens. ⁓ Who knows? But naturally it would be the Obamas if like, they were like, wow, this is amazing. Like thank you for writing it. And other kids are of course grown now.
Nate Klein (31:21.720)
That's right. That's right.
Nate Klein (31:31.992)
That's cool.
Yeah. Well, their kids will have kids someday too, so ⁓ it should be in their library.
Andrew Saunders (31:36.147)
Yeah, but I bet they were late.
Andrew Saunders (31:40.227)
I mean, I don't know anything, but they might be on like grandparent track here soon.
Cory Allen (31:46.830)
Hmm.
Andrew Saunders (31:47.271)
Their daughters are old enough,
Cory Allen (31:49.742)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see, I went with Malia to college in 2018, so she's like 24, 25, somewhere in there. And Sasha's two or three years younger. Anyways, that's not my family. I got my own to worry about.
Andrew Saunders (32:0.627)
⁓ They could be on that track. We don't know. I don't follow the gossip. I'm just saying they hit the age categories. No insider information here.
Nate Klein (32:7.288)
⁓ No.
Nate Klein (32:13.718)
I think that that would be really cool and I think that's someone that you've invested so much time with, built a relationship with and like have a genuine connection and care with ⁓ not just because of who they are but who they are as famous but who they are as people and I think that speaks to a lot of people too. ⁓
Cory Allen (32:29.442)
Yeah, absolutely.
Andrew Saunders (32:32.700)
So we're coming up on time here. think we're gonna wrap it up. I really appreciate that ⁓ you taking the time, Corey, to talk to us today. ⁓ I wanna end on, I think what's still floating in the back of all of our heads. Will you give us ⁓ one ⁓ short little like ⁓ when I was in the Secret Service story, ⁓ just because I don't think a lot of people get to...
Nate Klein (32:53.048)
⁓ That's fair.
Andrew Saunders (32:58.766)
understand that first person perspective unless they do something like pick up your memoir and read those chapters, right? ⁓ And I, know, something you're allowed to share or you've already shared or is out there and just ⁓ give people a little insight into what that was like for you and, and that whole process. Cause like I can, I can understand ⁓ saving my daughter, right? I can understand saving my wife.
I can't understand the other side. so I just, does that make sense? ⁓ Am I asking the right question? ⁓
Cory Allen (33:34.742)
Yeah. And it's hard to respond to that in like one after almost 10 years of my life, like one moment. ⁓ But to ⁓ encapsulate back to the Obamas and ⁓ is, we were leaving the office and I was in operations, but anyways, we would handle the elevator. And so I'm sitting there holding this elevator because when the protectee walks out and it's Obama, like you've got to make sure that elevator is open. So they get on, ⁓ it closes immediately. You go down to like minimize your exposure to
public, He comes around the corner and this elevator is trying to close and it is closing hard. And I have got, you know, and I'm 62, I'm not a tiny person, but I'm getting everything I got to this stupid elevator door that is coming at me hard. And Obama's coming around the corner. Yes, of course, ding, ding, ding. He obviously sees it. He comes in and like sees me fighting this stupid door and then starts making fun of me like all in jest because we know it, you know.
Andrew Saunders (34:19.089)
and the alarms going off. ⁓ Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Saunders (34:31.977)
Yeah. ⁓
Cory Allen (34:32.738)
We've been rear on each other for a couple of years ⁓ as a stupid elevator is going down and he just gives me a hard time about fighting this stupid door ⁓ for him. Anyways, ⁓ stupid irreverent, but ⁓ that just shows like they were down to earth genuine, like who they really are. ⁓ didn't, ⁓ I don't know. Hopefully that fits the bill of what you asked. ⁓
Nate Klein (34:43.640)
I think that's awesome. Yeah, in those moments though.
Andrew Saunders (34:44.371)
That's it. ⁓
Right. Yeah.
Andrew Saunders (34:54.963)
No, that's perfect. It's reminiscent of the, he introduced himself to that. There's that clip of him doing the introduction with the janitor, right? Right? He was just walking. And it was like, he stopped everything to talk to the guy cleaning a banister. don't remember. It was like, oh, he's just a normal person, right? And yeah. And that's very respectable. So I appreciate that. Corey, us the...
Nate Klein (34:55.160)
⁓ I will.
Cory Allen (35:10.286)
Mm-hmm.
Nate Klein (35:13.484)
real human.
Andrew Saunders (35:20.753)
The last plugs, get your socials out there, tell us the links and they're all going to be in the show notes, this is your, here's your free advertising. Our six listeners, there's more than six of you like that, but. ⁓
Cory Allen (35:28.632)
Woohoo! ⁓ Come on, more than ⁓ that. At author Corey Allen across social media ⁓ is where it's at, TikTok, YouTube, threads, Instagram, you name it. ⁓ CoreyAllenBooks.com. This is actually my first book being published by my own company, by the way. ⁓ So Corey Allen Books, ⁓ I decided to do it myself and take full control and establish that company. ⁓ So CoreyAllenBooks.com is where you can find both memoirs, which, ⁓ doubt it takes a trip.
Nate Klein (35:47.416)
Thanks.
Andrew Saunders (35:47.443)
⁓ Ooh, nice.
Cory Allen (35:58.190)
course just went on sale. Any bookstore you can order of course Amazon, Kindle, eBook, etc. ⁓ So Andrew, Nate, thank you so much for having me on and back to like what you guys are doing to help ⁓ elevate our voices and tell our stories.
Andrew Saunders (36:12.679)
Yeah, yeah, well, think, yeah, and I think ⁓ if you're open to it, we'll welcome you back. We'll talk about some other topics that you've done in your life here, and ⁓ I look forward to talking to you again. Anyway, ⁓ this is another episode of the Dad Verb Podcast. ⁓ Don't forget you can like and subscribe to make sure that other dads hear this message out in the great big podcast world. ⁓ If you are expecting, don't forget we have the Fathered Figure Course.
Nate Klein (36:13.526)
for putting your voice out in the world.
Nate Klein (36:26.680)
Thanks for it.
Cory Allen (36:27.127)
Absolutely.
Andrew Saunders (36:41.651)
available on dadver.com. That's from pregnancy all the way through year one. So if you have questions like ⁓ when do I get to start feeding my kids solid food? We've got a video for that. And if you buy it, you get access to our discord channel. ⁓ We also have public discord. All that's in the show notes. Give us a click. Let us know. Thanks again. Peace. As Ben would say. I ⁓ can't see the exit button. The camera's in the way.
I ended poorly, I started poorly, ugh.
